Aging Is An Option

The Art of Being Ageless

I decided i’m no longer aging.

I was getting glammed by my makeup artist bryan mendez last month, when the words left his mouth and landed on my psyche:

he had just seen the film the substance, and we were talking about all the modern ways people are de-aging themselves. I mean lindsay lohan basically proved that with the right doctor and the right amount of money, you can pretty much look like whatever age you want.

and it’s no secret that a lot of people in hollywood are living la vida lohan.

as a tv personality, I even used to feel like there was an expiration date on my career and that that was extricably linked to how old my face looked. I don’t really feel this way anymore thanks to older female role models in media, but I also love looking young and i’m not afraid to admit that. I have a fantastic witch in west hollywood, and her and I have our own preventative protocol. but i’ll save that for a rainy day.

because this particular post isn’t about aging aesthetically, although thats where the idea started when bryan said it. this is about the idea that we’re actually just ageless internally. let me explain…

I kept ruminating on the phrase weeks after bryan said it.

I had rolled some tobacco and went on my daily morning walk - i’ve recently started my days in the same way david lynch did - with a coffee + cigarette, except my breakfast had a minor modificaiton: a matcha and a ciggy.

after a couple hits, it all of a sudden dawned on me: if we create our own reality, and everything we believe is just reflected back to us in the matrix (I operate under the belief that we’re in a simulation and that our thoughts create our own reality). so if that’s true, what would happen if I just all of a sudden stopped subscribing to the concept of aging…would that mean that I actually wouldn’t biologically age?

oh shit…my mind took it even further…if I could just convince everyone in my life to never wish me a happy birthday…could this actually work?

I was about to celebrate my 35th birthday in a couple week’s time. so I brought myself back down to “earth” as I finished my walk.

later that day, I went to hear Paul Holdengräber - a cultural conversationalist -whom I look up to and consider a mentor, interview an author named maira kalman.

Paul and I met in the most random way last year - in a public sauna, and became fast friends when we essentially figured out we love + do the same thing: the art of conversation, except Paul is exactly 30 years older than me. He’s interviewed everyone from Jay-Z, to the Clinton’s, LIVE at the New York Public library, among many other accolades, and i’ve been learning a lot about my own craft by watching him perform his magic. I think he’s one of the best conversationalists there is.

one of the reason’s I think paul is so good at what he does, is he’s a quotomaniac. a quotomaniac is someone who is obsessed with using quotes or frequently quotes others. he cites a lot of them in his interviews and on this particular day he just so happened to use two about aging:

he cited paul auster’s quote in the paris review interviews vol. IV: “as my friend George Oppen once said to me about getting old:

what a strange thing to happen to a little boy.”

I thought to myself, whoa. it is pretty strange. and then in true paul holdengräber form, he followed that quote up with an even better one on by Gertrude Stein:

“we are always the same age inside.”

double whoa. here I was pontificating on this concept of “aging is an option” and gertrude’s quote felt so real in my bones.

what the fuck? I actually HAVE ALWAYS FELT LIKE THE SAME AGE INSIDE.

OMG AGING, IS IN FACT AN OPTION!

immediately after I had that epiphany, I met a new friend at Paul’s talk: a 90-year old guy named Fred.

It was kind of wild that Fred and I instantly clicked, because after meeting Paul, I put in an order with the universe that I wanted to make more older friends.

I find it a bit odd that we all mostly just hang around people our own age, and what type of perspective was I ever to gain from only having friends who are in the same place in life I am?

and so out of nowhere this firecracker Fred walks up to me and we become friends!

Fred and his wife Selma invited me over for dinner. I was so taken back by how much life and vitality these two had at their age. they had more energy than most dogs I meet on hikes in LA.

I learned that they both met in their late 40s, and that they were each other’s second marriage. this perspective really proved to me I have SO much life yet to live, it’s insane.

after I went home, I made a couple adjustments to my birthday party that was fast approaching.

I love throwing themed parties and the theme for my birthday party this year was: The Naz Jazz Club.

i’m pretty proud of this logo I made using AI.

The Naz Jazz Club was a mix of all the things I love: jazz, the saxophone, louis prima, frank sinatra, dean martin, house music, architecture + design, fashion and smoking.

I held it at the iconic Oviatt Penthouse in downtown LA - which was the first art deco residence in los angeles. the dresscode was italian movie star (my go-to inspo for the red carpet), I hired a singer named frank to sing louis prima + frank sinatra songs, and I hired a saxophonist named spencer who plays with bruno mars and anderson .paak to play along a house set curated by my friend simon who’s a DJ. and I of course had Dad Grass smokes and drinks on deck because nothing goes better with jazz than a CBD joint.

I called the lady who made my cake and had her make an adjustment to what would be written on it:

I told my friends at my party about this newfound concept i’m currently subscribing to: aging is an option and I decided i’m not aging anymore. after all, like gertrude said, we’re always the same age inside.

and since I wasn’t technically celebrating a “birthday” anymore, and the fact that i’m so over the song happy birthday, I decided to have my friends sing me a different song this year, and it was so much fun:

I have never felt cooler and younger in my entire life.

could it be that age is just a mental game, and the secret to feeling ageless is simply refusing to play?

and if gertrude stein was right, and we’re all just the same age inside, does that mean we’re all just pretending to be adults?

I couldn’t help but wonder: If age is just a number, what number would you be if you could choose one to represent how you feel inside?