Thanks for this thoughtful reflection Naz. It’s definitely funny to see what videos go viral since it’s never expected.
I think what happens sometimes is that as the system of the patriarchy (not individual men) grows, people are mad at men for continuously not doing better. And then it becomes hard to have compassion. Even though we should have compassion for all humans. And giving men time to speak is so counterintuitive in many places where women and girls literally don’t have a voice. Your post was totally fine (or the podcast clip) but it certainly became a big deal because people project onto you that you are giving men something that they don’t deserve or not upholding the idea that women should take up space. You are well within your right to give a man space, especially when he may be struggling to. Men take up a lot of space, but perhaps not in the same ways women can and do. Such as emotional vulnerability, crying with friends, saying what they are deeply feeling at the moment. It’s nice that you practice giving them room to do so.
Sometimes people feel better when you post and have the caveat “I do recognize etc etc…” but you don’t always have to do that. Those who understand the message will, and people will take from it what they want at the end of the day.
I didn’t find your comment offensive. In fact it made me realize that I don’t give the men in my life time to respond or I get frustrated when they don’t have a reply right away. I’m often impatient with female friends as well because I want to give my opinion. This is something I am working on. In the other hand, it also made me think about all the men in my life who have dismissed me, talked over me or preferred a males opinion over mine. As the only girl in the family and the youngest I had to fight to be heard and when I was it wasn’t as important as what the men had to say. So I get the frustration. But as the mother of boy I want to treat him with the same respect as any other person and the only way to have equality and healthy relationships is to learn how we all communicate. So thank you for sharing this. I learned a lot and this will help me build stronger relationships with the men in my life who do care about what I and other females have to say.
Thanks for this thoughtful reflection Naz. It’s definitely funny to see what videos go viral since it’s never expected.
I think what happens sometimes is that as the system of the patriarchy (not individual men) grows, people are mad at men for continuously not doing better. And then it becomes hard to have compassion. Even though we should have compassion for all humans. And giving men time to speak is so counterintuitive in many places where women and girls literally don’t have a voice. Your post was totally fine (or the podcast clip) but it certainly became a big deal because people project onto you that you are giving men something that they don’t deserve or not upholding the idea that women should take up space. You are well within your right to give a man space, especially when he may be struggling to. Men take up a lot of space, but perhaps not in the same ways women can and do. Such as emotional vulnerability, crying with friends, saying what they are deeply feeling at the moment. It’s nice that you practice giving them room to do so.
Sometimes people feel better when you post and have the caveat “I do recognize etc etc…” but you don’t always have to do that. Those who understand the message will, and people will take from it what they want at the end of the day.
agreed. i love this reflection. thanks for reading!
This is great!
thanks adam!
👏👏👏
love you!
I didn’t find your comment offensive. In fact it made me realize that I don’t give the men in my life time to respond or I get frustrated when they don’t have a reply right away. I’m often impatient with female friends as well because I want to give my opinion. This is something I am working on. In the other hand, it also made me think about all the men in my life who have dismissed me, talked over me or preferred a males opinion over mine. As the only girl in the family and the youngest I had to fight to be heard and when I was it wasn’t as important as what the men had to say. So I get the frustration. But as the mother of boy I want to treat him with the same respect as any other person and the only way to have equality and healthy relationships is to learn how we all communicate. So thank you for sharing this. I learned a lot and this will help me build stronger relationships with the men in my life who do care about what I and other females have to say.
https://open.substack.com/pub/mhex/p/what-women-deny?r=5k5ryl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true